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Update Phew!

     Wow it has been forever!!  I forget the time I last posted so I'm going to try to sum up everything that has been going on the last couple of months...

Ok I'll go all the way back to April...My cousin Billy finally tied the knot with Jennifer Romano and they were married the 25th of April.  Me and and 28 others made up the huge bridal party and it was really fun getting dolled up and feeling like a princess for one day.  Except I didn't feel like a princess when I was running late on the day of the wedding...kind of turned into some sort of monstrous demon actually... The reception was fun and I met a guy named Nick.  I was on the dance floor and I turned around and saw him and he asked me to dance and we did the entire night.  We talked for awhile and then took a walk to the gazebo and we kissed.  For the following week I was experiencing this euphoria I never felt.  I didn't always think I was pretty and thought guys just don't like me and felt great having someone pursue me. 

May - Well it was kind of a passionate month and an emotional one.  I was scared a lot and regretting the fact that we were moving too fast but my heart and my head don't always agree. He wasn't a Christian and he was 14 years older than me.  I knew eventually we would consumate our relationship and I know I wasn't ready for it but I really cared for him.  Well after a month he just stopped calling me and that felt as if a rug was pulled from underneath me.  It was a blow I wasn't ready for but knew was necessary because I would have compromised so much to be with him.

June- We finally moved out of my Aunt Lisa's...hooray!  She's pregnant and very hormonal thus very difficult to live with.  Every weekend we also helped my brother and his family move into our house because they could no longer afford the rent in the apartment they were living in.  So they moved in with their 3 children and another one on the way.  Also still dealing with the emotional setback of rejection.  There were days I just cried and I was so mad at myself because why am I crying over a man I really didn't know and how I could care for him so quickly. Very busy and a rough month all around and I was insanely exhausted and dealing with the rain 21 our 30 days was no great joy either. I also went to the movies and saw and fell in love with Star Trek 4 times! I believe movies became my therapy for awhile...

July- I went on vacation and had fun on the 4th of July.  I was at my Grandmothers and we had a nice bbq and had fun with the slip n slide and the cool wading pool! :-) Still a kid I know...Then the best part was that everyone around the neighborhood put on an awesome fireworks show...one family had boxes upon boxes and it was the absolute greatest to be so close they went off!  The neighbors down the street knowing they didn't have much made a huge deal out of Birthday Cake they let off and were screaming and yelling down the street "Yea you try and top that!" lol It was great!  Then I got sick the rest of my vacation and into the following week.  Took awhile before I finally recovered. I think with so many things happening and trying to sort through my emotions took a toll on me and knocked me on my butt.  The rest of July has been busy and tiring but also fun because I enrolled finally into College.  I start taking English on Fridays starting in September! Woo!I'm also starting to get through the whole Nick thing without crying every single day.  I know I'm pathetic...

The August which has really just begun but is going to be just as crazy as the previous months but I'll get through it and since I'm starting college I have to stay on hiatus at hogwarts but I do miss being a Puff but I won't be able to dedicate any time at all with my schedule.  ...Phew...

Going to the movies seeing Star Trek, Transformers 2 and Harry Potter!
Getting my Orange Belt in Karate
Enrolling into College
Going to Paul and Lori's (Lindsey your house lol) for a weekend retreat away from my family
Celebrating My nephew's fourth birthday and my grandpa's 82nd :-)
Anthony going to school to be an EKG
Kelly getting her license fixed
Going Upstate to hang with my old coworkers

Actually looking back more good than bad and somehow I know it's tough and I'm upset at times I know I will make it out.  Thanks for reading! See you soon!

<3 you all!

How Big Is Your Ego?

Your Ego is Small
You are quite humble. You try not to spend too much time congratulating yourself.
You're proud of who you are, but you're also secure. You don't need to brag.

You see yourself and others in a pretty realistic way. You appreciate strengths and faults.
You respect people and believe that you can learn from them.

What Herb Are You?

You Are Mint
You are a honest person with a strong personality. Your frank point of view is refreshing.
You've been quite lucky in your life, though you have made more of your own luck than you realize.

You are engaging and disarming. You definitely have the "gift of gab!"
You live an edgy, dynamic life. Sometimes you get a little burned, but you always bounce back.
You Are Guinness
You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

Your Birth Month Says You're Wise
Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years.
You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian.

Your soul reflects: Devotion, light, and love

Your gemstone: Sapphire

Your flower: Morning Glory

Your colors: Brown and deep blue

What's Your Celtic Animal?

Your Animal is the Swan
You are a calm, gentle, and serene person. You are happiest when you can relax and enjoy the world.
You are beautiful, both inside and out. You find it easy to love and are easy to love.

You are stable and strong. You can bring security to your family and friends.
You have deep emotions, and you are a lot more sensitive than you let on.

Angry angry post

I'm having a shitty time at home again, step dad being asshole again, work is even more stressful because of my co-worker.  Her daughter is an infant in my room and she works in one of the preschool rooms.  My friend and I (and other co-workers) made a comment about the baby's outfit. She mismatched and we decided thinking that the mom wouldn't mind  that we would change her stockings and find gray pants to match her mets shirt.  So mom came in and asked if she had an accident and me and the lead teacher told her we changed the stockings becuase it didn't match and we were trying to make light of it and she got angry and stormed off.  My coworker and I really weren't trying to be malicious and our intention was to make mom laugh and it back fired on us.  She made my co-worker cry and sent me this message on facebook saying how what i did was wrong and that i made fun of the way we dressed her daughter and yada yada yada.  She made a mountain out of a molehill.  So I replied saying we weren't trying to be mean and made an honest mistake and not trying to attack anyone and that i was sorry.  She hasn't replied and she also mad that I didn't apologize to her. But at first I didn't think I needed to because I didn't think it was that big of a deal and then I thought mama bear came out and she's no longer my co-worker but parent as well so I'm trying to keep the peace and deal.  So work is going to be fun on Monday. 

Couple of good things:  I'm a PUff again :-) and wrote my first fan fic in a while saw my neice and nephew played gears of war 2 and i think thats it lol

ohhhhhh grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  Life just about sux in all though lol

What's Your Life's Mission?

You Are the Artist
You are unique and inspired. You aren't happy unless you are making art of some sort.
Almost anything can be a catalyst for your creativity. You find the whole world stimulating.

You have beautiful visions, and you're good at expressing them. You like people to see what you see.
You also have an inventor's spirit. You're always thinking up new ideas and concepts.

What Body of Water Are You?

You Are a Bay
You are a blissful, peaceful person. Some might call you spiritual.
You are easy-going and tranquil. You take solace in life's sweet moments.

You are sentimental and open-hearted. You love many people, places, and things.
You try to live an enlightened life. You are benevolent, noble, and intuitive.
What Body of Water Are You?

Thanks Cammie!! I loved your result you mystery of a woman you!

Geez it's been way too long!

Hello! Sorry for my anti-socialness! I've been busy with work, church, and just getting sick like every two weeks! I think I'm going to take after my good pal Lindsey and use bullets it might make it easier for me to update because there certainly is a lot. I guess that's why I haven't written feeling overwhelmed by how much updating I need to do! lol
  • Well life has certainly been better since last October.  I'm back in my church reconnecting with the people I care for and I've joined a couple of Bible Study groups. One is the study on Ruth and the other Sermon on the Mount; Ruth is the young adult study and Sermon on the Mount is an adult study! Love both of them!  I tell you being back has made me the happiest person!
  • Speaking of emotions I went up for altar call and since then my emotional and spiritual life have never been better.  I'm just more stable emotionally and just have this inner peace I can't describe in spite of the craziness in my personal life.  This week was tough though but I'll bounce back!
  • The not so good news is that I've been getting sick like every two weeks (as stated above) I finally went to the doctor's, first time in years, and they gave me an antibiotic because this weekend I've had a fever, throwing up (sorry for grossness), and the never ending runny nose post nasal drip thing! Grrr! Good news is that even though I can't sleep I'm taking the time to update my facebook profile and livejournal! :-)
  • Speaking of doctor's I'm finally insured! Woohoo! First time since age 19! *does the happy dance* Felt so good to just write out a 20 dollar copay check and pay only 10 dollars for meds!
  • How I got the insurance...well I'm back at my old job.  I work in Daycare again which is why I'm so sick *damn those brats* lol.  But it is a lot better this time around.  All the trouble making girls left or were fired so now, for the most part, there is a lot more harmony in the place. But since there is an overload of estrogen it's sure to get tense sometimes lol.  I love my co-worker! I'm an assistant teacher in the infant room and Barbara is the Head Teacher and she is wonderful! She looks after me, will talk to my bosses for me if I'm sick or have an issue, brag about the good things I do...she rocks and she is very knowledgable!
  • Because I've been inactive on Livejournal I believe I've been kicked out of Hogwarts :-(.  But I really didn't have a whole lot time lately to do activities and participate.  So I'll register again once things calm down and I hope I'm a Puff again.  Also hard to really earn points for my house when I'm on a computer that's shared by four other people so it's made it difficult.
  • Still living at my aunt's house.  Christmas was kinda tense and crazy because we had so many issues with family.  But since then things have mellowed.  My mom is paying her rent and she bought a laptop so maybe I can start doing my own thing without feeling I'm hogging the computer.  The laptop is an HP Pavilion and it's sooo pretty but the E key only works if you really press down on it.  So mom is taking it back tomorrow. But she bought the floor model so that's why it's probably a little funky.
  • My mom and step dad are still figuring out if their relationship will work or not.  She hasn't been sleeping much and she got back from a very stressful weekend.  They were fighting a lot like serious screaming in each other's faces.  He went from being repentant last month back to justifying everything.  Also he wouldn't let her read his emails but she broke into the computer and found one.  He's just very aggressive and my mom is done but hasn't felt a release yet from God to end the marriage. He's got a lot of mental health issues.  What worries me though is that when they were in each other's faces my mom threw up her hands and tried to walk away and he slapped at her hand.  Started another row of fighting.  But how long till he actually hits her? 
  • Even though this all happened I did forgive him for our fight that we had.  He didn't apologize first but I just can't carry all this anger around with me.  He was thankful that I had forgiven him but my mom was extremely disappointed that he didn't apologize to me which leads me to believe he wasn't sorry and again felt justified for his actions but again didn't do it for him but for God and myself.  So it frees me up to pray for him and if my mom visits again I hope she remains safe.  But I still hope they divorce and can resolve things peacefully if they can because this is too much of a bad thing and it will break them.
Woo!  I believe that's all!  Aside from the last two things have been a lot better!  I never realized how important friends and family are for they really get you through a lot.  But most importantly the power of prayer and the faithfulness of God. It's been such a relief being in the shadow of his wings once more.   Thanks for reading and I hope to chat with you all soon!

Much love